The best Tweets according to me...

Having used my Favourite approach to Twitter's Follow Friday meme for a few weeks now (explained in full in Follow Friday can Bugger Off,) it's time to bung all these uber Tweets into their own little blog, which I can update easily to highlight New Talent or Tweets of Exceptional Greatness by the same old gits I always recommend. You know who you are. So here, in alphabetical order with sample Tweets, are my favourites:

(last update update 14 June 2009)


· Amalari Sunlight filtered through leaves and black oak branches, a splash of brilliant red geraniums, the scent of jasmine, Tuscany this morning

· AmnestyUK On way to demo now, megaphone in hand- 'Stop the execution of troy davis!' come join us, outside US Embassy

· AndreaGillies My first waking thoughts, half-conscious in bed, have begun shaping themselves unprompted into 140 character gobbets...

· BelgianWaffling Abstemious London Emma has been replaced by twitchy Magma crack addict. Damn you Magma and your pleasing paper goods.about 17 hours ago from web

· belle_lulu Anyone seen my house keys? The ones with the naff purple fob?No? I've looked EVERYWHERE! Never lost before so don't know if I shd panic yet?

· billt Trying so hard to write some coherent prose this morning but twitter is like a small baby crying in the corner.

· BriggySmalls I had the surreal experience of standing next in line to Joanna Lumley at my local fish & chip shop last night. It was all very strange.about 2 hours ago from twhirl

· CakePirate What I learned: Modelling is hard, nobody is ever allowed to backcomb my hair ever again/I would've hated the 80's, I miss having eyebrows.

· carolinefo I am shall ponder these words, in relation to my current romantic situation, whilst I start making a lemon tart.

· charltonbrooker 'Backup Britain' Movie Pitch: Replica UK is made: BNP supporters slowly realise they're immigrants; beat selves to death in funny ways.

· clareharryruby Today: School Fete then Lad Next Door 1st communion party. Whole fucking day feigning interest House Prices, Ofsted Reports, Boden Catalogue

· debthedyer gym over, duckie eggs for breakfast, then back to the dyehouse before sun disappears!

· DebraSnider Hawk flying lazily overhead when I start swimming. Still circling 30 min later when I stop. Hungry & hoping I'll drown? Learning to swim?

· demonchild6 So did Patrick Swayze die or not? Do we need to contact Whoopie Goldberg for confirmation?

· Dogwallah Dooo wa doowa Love this Elvis number ! One of the first singles I bought, B side of Its Now or Never (O sole Mio) ♫ http://blip.fm/~6m1dd5:47 PM May 19th from Blip.fm

· Drolgerg Don't see the point of going to the gym. Why? To make you live longer? Seems to me any longer you might live is time you spend in the gym!

· ememess Barmaids who say how little they drink are like slim chefs. I want a barmaid who's hungover. And a fat chef. Commited people.

· EmmaJaneR My oil pastels have arrived! Wasn't expecting them for another 10 days! SQUEEEEE!! (sorry - won't do the squee thing again, it's a one-off)

· EMMAREES Time for lunch break. Only 16 Renaissance essays before I can stop for day. Concentration pretty good and shortly to be helped by chocolate.

· ewarthale Sorry. These are just the ramblings of someone waiting for the builders to arrive. Oh, how I want my home back...about 4 hours ago from web

· fighthunger News: Fortified rice could help win the fight against malnutrition http://bit.ly/8nP862:58 PM

· GeekParenting "Always remove your used tampon before inserting a new one." #unecessaryinstructions #noshitsherlock #wellokaythen9:14 PM

· GeneHunt Just pulled a scumbag in for questioning. He was looking more suspicious than a nun doing pressups in a cucumber field.9:11 AM

· gibbzer Fellow Glaswegians, do not be afeard. The big hot molten mass in the sky above your heads is the sun. Go forth and freckle up.

· goonerjamie I also asked for snacks for later on tonight, know what she bought. A mini packet of aero bubbles! WTF. Pack weighs as much as a mouse gonad

· Gpforhire ah the olfactory joys of a patient who has never heard or used deodorant. Excuse me whilst I vomit in the bin.

· HelenWayteMy factor 40 sun cream makes me appear albino. I probably look like some sort of goddess to white supremacists. Eurgh.

· HelpSaveBees As the Bluebells die down, this flower with nettle like leaves, is a member of the Mint family & Soliatry Bees love it: http://bit.ly/wS673

· huwspanner The US fossil-fuel industry blew $44m in January-March lobbying against Obama's Bill to combat climate change. Bastards. http://bit.ly/73b1J

· indiaknight Who said that thing about martinis being like bosoms, one not enough, three too many? It's really true.

· IndywoodFILMS I am attempting to keep my high profile Zombie Horror movie independent, by selling 5000 DVD pre-orders - a fresh & new fundraising method

· Itxi_Itx Accidentally rode my bike through a patch of semi-fresh asphalt. That's my mark on the world, right there...

· Jetlagjen Freezing my nick nacks off over here! Bucketed on and off all day, still foreign enough to enjoy sound of rain bouncing off my umbrella.

· juliansimpson So, turns out this whole Iran thing is complicated. I was really hoping to be able to crash down on one side and start hurling abuse. Ho hum

· justamoochin Morning ................................ is it wrong to *dream* of John Barrowman?? xx

· jockso Alan Sugar's come out in support of Brown, all he needs now is the Backing of Ant & Dec and he'll be OK.

· karacornflake He played with my soul like the wind plays with a leaf,.. Swirling emotion Devine devotion,... Yet ending in grief

· kdaustin Basking sharks are so weird and so cool. New findings, stunning photo : RT @wired http://bit.ly/oF8Tw

· koshkanott Bloody mindedly wearing summery top & airy linen cardi. Boss bedecked in pretty aqua dress. We're chilly, but it beats the gloom outside!

· labeet Tweeting is sinful, but you're free to abuse little boys for decades. Catholics have odd morals! http://bit.ly/16MpTm (via @guardiantech)

· laughingsquid Awkward Family Photos, embarrassing the ones you love http://bit.ly/pTTmw #screwoffatworkfriday

· Lizziemouse Beautiful day today - very lucky to have a personal orchestra of birds in the garden to serenade me through the day

· lesanto This uniform is indicative of the problem at the root of education. The 'system' trying to make people conform rather than blossom as people

· lydmiz Love can build a bridge, and probably finish it faster than the builders outside my workplace can. 7 months and still no walkway.

· maggiephilbin Have had very bizarre day.. which began with Bikram yoga for radio..anyone do this?

· MariBiscuitsNo, I do not want to rate your pussy. Unless it's a cute lolcat style kitten and not some badly shaved webgina.

· matripleyGoing to the Cathedral to write. Its a bit like a library but with better windows and a smaller selection of books.

· maybeitwasutah Good morning, kidlingtons. My head feels like it's full of spoons.

· mimimyne Off to the Markets Office to get my East London market trader's license. Pound a pound! Get your organic goods here! lovely jubbly! etc

· Mirroranne One Flew over the Meringue Nest #filmfoodeating

· MrsLard The spider that's been squatting in my bath for 3 days has gone. Except for one leg. Think Bill must have eaten his body and other 7 legs.

· mrstrefusis Some utter idiot is trying to skip along berwick st. Using a skipping rope. is wearing large earphones and dark glasses so impervious

· nicky_t @GHmltn Winning team taking it all so seriously. Won on tiebreaker.Winning team captain has spreadsheet of winning scores. OMG.

· nik_kee_dee So much fucking effort being a girl. Shave this, pluck that, moisturise this, condition the other, boost this, curl that. Yawn.

· noxhanti RT @ joshuahammond: Possibly the coolest Twitter site yet: http://tweetingtoohard.com Pretty much puts it all into perspective, hunh?

· nytimeskristof The disadvantage of Twittering at night in an African village with a satellite phone? Bugs the size of birds dive-bomb you.

· OMGLOLOMG No 1 beginning to panic about Physics As tomorrow . Asking me about electrons ????Help....

· Raycast I made the mistake of allowing windows to update and now it's bugging me to restart! I'm busy, I don't want to RESTART!! grrr...

· RedMummy Oh, THAT went well. Just going to make myself coffee laced with cyanide.

· rhodri Local barbers is staffed by 2 swarthy Iranian men and a gorgeous blonde girl. You can see the hope on the faces of the waiting customers.

· Richard_001 is wondering what fine pickings there will be to recycle after the Chelsea flower show is dismantled.

· robinbrittain BBC East Midlands News lady presenting weather, aptly named 'Sara Blizzard' warms of a chance of the odd tornado tonight. Keep your hat on.

· rockmotherworried that my spider bitten left boob will explode on plane tomorrow - still hurts - sorry too much info I know but just a thought

· SamGemmill I have been chanting "This will be a productive week" over and over, since seven am.

· sarahjpin Mr Fing is giving me big cat love. This normally means there is a pile of sick or a dead animal somewhere

· Scott_Kesterson Sitting in what I think is the best dining hall in east Afghanistan eating a bowl of Shrimp Creole soup. The lead cook is a Vietnam vet.

· sinkingducks bi-curious george #pornkidstv

· stevyncolgan Today I WILL finish that book proposal I started yesterday. I will. N more procrastination. Oh, I think I need to go buy dog food ....

· suellewellyn There's no getting away from it, can barely get around it, time to get on to it. I hate paperwork.

· taniakindersley Sun (literal and metaphorical); great, fat, vulgar, unapologetic shafts of sun. And the men on the wireless talked of nothing but rain.

· thehermitage After putting too much wood on the fire then flinging open doors, we played clarinet and flute together and are now eating chocolate buttons.

· themanwhofell I am feeling lazy, wearing my girlfriend's £10 mock-Ugg boots. I look like a cuddly, fat tramp.

· theNSPCC Reading about 82 networks of organised child abuse that @theNSPCC helped CEOP shut down in their 08/09 review @ www.ceop.gov.uk/publications

· Valya 1am in Palma. Kids zonked about 15 min. ago after 2 flight journey. Brief layover in Madrid & 11pm arrival. Time for bed. Good night!

· victoriark Excitement of the ironing now. Followed by meeting of doom re the gardens where everyone will have view and no one will make a decision.

· Veronika_Lives Have a class of kids shouting shoot the Nazi's. I'm epic.

· W1mum Forgot Erbie using wallet for teething this morning until checkout, good start to economy drive paying in cash from coin purse.

· waitingword Sitting at a bar by myself, drinking a Dark n Stormy. If this doesn't mean I'm on the market, I don't know what does.

· whoopsie So, my employee review is in. My boss has classed my work as "f*cking awersome" and recommended I bitch slap a client. Go me!

· wired I feel like a radio DJ: Hi everyone! It's me, @joemfbrown back for another week of spinning Tweets on behalf of the mother ship.

· adebradleyYay, My Machiavelli, Nietszche and Darwin books have arrived. A geeky bank holiday weekend for me.

· allpointsnorth At Northampton services, I can smell the pavements lined with gold. That there London here I come.

· twentythree A skinhead type guy had a BNP banner draped over a M25 bridge yesterday, giving drivers Sieg Heil salutes, great way to enamour voters

· wisecur #health&safety Fat people are a breeding ground for germs so avoid any physical contact.Simply pat their bums with wooden spoon as greeting.