Monday, 15 June 2009

@Angpang and The Me, Me Meme

The lovely @clareHR tagged me with a meme on her blog, which gives me the excuse to talk about myself a lot and do another blog entry without coming up with a) an idea or b) a structure. Clare, you’re my hero.

So here it is, a blog that’s about me. At least I’m consulting an expert on the subject.

If you're a blogger and fancy revealing yourself through these 20 questions, consider yourself tagged. At the bottom of this post I've listed all the Bloggers who have embraced the Me Me Meme - scroll down to see...

1. What are your current obsessions?

Well, anyone who has spent 60 seconds in my company will realise I am obsessed with my children (two girls, aged six and four).

In my defence, I am fully aware I have a pair of ‘mummy goggles’ glued in place, unlike the (mostly) new mums who dominate conversations with details of every nappy change when my children’s achievements are far more interesting.

If you’ve not experienced pathological parenthood, I can only say it’s like that crush you had when you were 14.

You think about them all the time, have to know where they are each minute, filter every piece of new information in terms of its impact on to them, feel quietly exhilarated with them near, strangely hollow with them gone, and find your fingers twitching to scratch the ugly, fat face of anyone who does not share your adulation.

You bond with other parents who’ll play the game (I'll talk about mine for 40 seconds, I'll let you talk about yours for 30). Your mother becomes so much more interesting because she wants to talk about them too. You meet someone who has no kids and fumble for something to say to them. It’s addiction.

And it’s a good job you are besotted, because children also annoy the hell out of you.

But I at least know I’m doing it. I really, really do understand my children are not the most fascinating, beautiful, talented and unusual in the world, whilst at the same time knowing they damn well are.

2. What item from your wardrobe do you most wear?


There are two Angelas (well at least two, but let’s not go there): Angela Ideal who has perfect hair every day, and Angela Real who lolled in bed that extra ten minutes and has bad, bad hair so she rams a hat on top and hopes it won’t be windy.

For winter there’s my Child Catcher's Hat (named such by my boyfriend) that really does look like the one worn by the scary bloke in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. I wore it at the local Christmas Fair along with crimson devore scarf, floor length black coat and ankle boots. I had an honourable mention in the Victorian fancy dress competition I did not realise they were running.

For summer it’s often headbands, which also camouflage the too-big forehead I have.

Pride of place is my Philip Treacy one (pictured). S’very nice. But it really demands full make-up and heels and military-esque coat to carry it off, and Angela Real has just not got her act together yet.

3. Last dream you had?

That was a nightmare, because I foolishly watched The Grudge, a formulaic horror film that I should, with my age and experience, be able to laugh at scornfully (ha ha har) but truth is: I’m easily scared.

When I thought a ‘boo’ moment was upon me I stared at the fireplace (open fire, very calming) so I can’t even say I watched it properly. But the undercurrent of ‘something’s gonna get you’ leaked into my dreams, and then my youngest (who had sneaked alongside me for a cuddle) leaked onto my mattress (too much bedtime milk) so I was evicted to the sofa with a Disney Princess throw that left something exposed no matter how I arranged it.

But that was not the end of it. The kids invaded the living room at 6am so I had to move to the bed of the child that had piddled on me. It's five foot long with a matress as deep as an insole and it started life as a cot, so sleep was a stranger, but it was either that or drift in and out of consciousness to The Chuckle Brothers, which would be more chilling than The Grudge.

4. Last thing you bought?

Hair slides. Sparkly green hoops. A little bit vintage. I tret myself (that’s Grimsby slang, work it out) because I was going to an award ceremony with my mum, who had been nominated as a Lifelong Learner, so I was thinking red carpet, paparazzi… but more of that on another blog.

They are lovely and twinkly. Sadly, I did not wear them, having nothing that shade of green in my wardrobe apart from a sensible, Marks and Spencer V neck which may have said ‘green’ but in no way said ‘sparkly’. Idiot.

5. What are you listening to?

As I write this, the Early Learning Centre’s ‘Any Dream Will Do’ CD. Which includes songs from the shows by OK singers and OK musicians. It’s coming from my eldest’s bedroom.

But this afternoon I listened to an ‘Ange’s Faves’ playlist for the first time in about a year, and remembered how much I love Radiohead, Portishead, Massive Attack, Jeff Buckley, Gorrilaz, Turin Brakes and Aqualung.

6. Fave holiday spots

London. Snowdonia (lived there for four years). Cornwall. Arizona. Italy.
I have not been to Italy yet, but I know I am going to have a wonderful time.

7. What are you reading?

I’m re-reading Angela Carter's short stories Burning your Boats.

I started talking about Ms Carter on Twitter to US writer Debra Snider, and was flooded with Tweets from many others praising Carter’s work. Debra was convinced to give her a try, and I was convinced to read it all again.

8. 4 words to describe you

Cannot be easily summarised.

9. Guilty pleasure

Secret Millionaire. Though the formula is starting to poke through and I don’t cry anymore.

10. If you were god/goddess who would you be?

Love, lust and beauty sound appealing, which would make me Aphrodite.

11. Who/what makes you laugh until you are weak?

Flight of the Conchords.

12. Fave spring thing to do.

Get lost in some woodlands. I find dappled shade magnetic.

Chuck lots of stuff out. I always have a piano and a coffee table too much in my house.

13.When you die what would you like people to say about you at your funeral?

Still sexy at 99.

14. Best thing you ate or drank lately?

That would be my boyfriend’s rhubarb crumble (that ain’t a euphemism) made with rhubarb fresh from mum’s vegetable patch. He thinks I don’t notice him sneaking in some ginger, but I do.

15 When did you last go for night out?

A week ago to a friend’s house for our Art Group, which is six time-poor / cash-poor mums who coulda-shoulda-woulda been good artists but through the well meant advice of parents to ‘get a good job in a bank’ did not turn their talent into a career. Plus me, the crap one.

This evening was heaven. My friend had arranged her unwashed dinner plates as a still life, and supplied us with oil paints (and all the paraphernalia that puts you off buying them) so we could just simply have a go.

I pottered away until midnight attempting to paint a gorgeous antique white jug with the proportions on Monroe and the luminance of a Vermeer. The finished painting is recognisable as a jug, so I feel I’ve leapt the first hurdle on my way to becoming an artist. And my youngest child told me it was wonderful. Perhaps there is such a thing as 'daughter goggles' too.

The smell of the oils and the joy of good company are now permanently linked in my mind.

16. Fave film ever.

I watched Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo and Juliet several years ago before I was a parent. I have just watched it again as a mother (look, the M word again) and found it amazing in a whole new way. Have loved the play since my GCSEs, when it was the set text.

17. Share some wisdom.

“Wise children always choose a mother who was a shocking flirt in her maiden days, and so had several offers before she accepted their fortunate papa.” J M Barrie, The Little White Bird.

18. Song you can't get out of your head.

Cheesy songs are the ones that stick. I like to plant them in my boyfriend’s head by humming them in his ear in the morning. We Built this City on Rock and Roll. Sorry.

19. Thing you are looking forward to

My children’s hugs. My four year old is exactly the size and weight of a hug.

20. If you could change one detail from your past, what would that be?

That I’d edited more ruthlessly. People can be backpacks or jetpacks, and I put-up with the backpacks a little too long.

Tag you’re it…

Meme Rules: remove one question & replace with one of your own.

UPDATE: The Me Me Meme challenges has been taken up by:

@eyglo in her blog

@koshkanott in her blog

@ltxi_itx in her blog

(go read and enjoy)

I'm sending special obligation rays out to:

@goonergamie blog

@nik_kee_dee blog

@belle_lulu blog

@cakepirate blog

@EmmaJaneR - you can do pictures

Sunday, 14 June 2009

The best Tweets according to me...

Having used my Favourite approach to Twitter's Follow Friday meme for a few weeks now (explained in full in Follow Friday can Bugger Off,) it's time to bung all these uber Tweets into their own little blog, which I can update easily to highlight New Talent or Tweets of Exceptional Greatness by the same old gits I always recommend. You know who you are. So here, in alphabetical order with sample Tweets, are my favourites:

(last update update 14 June 2009)

· Amalari Sunlight filtered through leaves and black oak branches, a splash of brilliant red geraniums, the scent of jasmine, Tuscany this morning

· AmnestyUK On way to demo now, megaphone in hand- 'Stop the execution of troy davis!' come join us, outside US Embassy

· AndreaGillies My first waking thoughts, half-conscious in bed, have begun shaping themselves unprompted into 140 character gobbets...

· BelgianWaffling Abstemious London Emma has been replaced by twitchy Magma crack addict. Damn you Magma and your pleasing paper goods.about 17 hours ago from web

· belle_lulu Anyone seen my house keys? The ones with the naff purple fob?No? I've looked EVERYWHERE! Never lost before so don't know if I shd panic yet?

· billt Trying so hard to write some coherent prose this morning but twitter is like a small baby crying in the corner.

· BriggySmalls I had the surreal experience of standing next in line to Joanna Lumley at my local fish & chip shop last night. It was all very strange.about 2 hours ago from twhirl

· CakePirate What I learned: Modelling is hard, nobody is ever allowed to backcomb my hair ever again/I would've hated the 80's, I miss having eyebrows.

· carolinefo I am shall ponder these words, in relation to my current romantic situation, whilst I start making a lemon tart.

· charltonbrooker 'Backup Britain' Movie Pitch: Replica UK is made: BNP supporters slowly realise they're immigrants; beat selves to death in funny ways.

· clareharryruby Today: School Fete then Lad Next Door 1st communion party. Whole fucking day feigning interest House Prices, Ofsted Reports, Boden Catalogue

· debthedyer gym over, duckie eggs for breakfast, then back to the dyehouse before sun disappears!

· DebraSnider Hawk flying lazily overhead when I start swimming. Still circling 30 min later when I stop. Hungry & hoping I'll drown? Learning to swim?

· demonchild6 So did Patrick Swayze die or not? Do we need to contact Whoopie Goldberg for confirmation?

· Dogwallah Dooo wa doowa Love this Elvis number ! One of the first singles I bought, B side of Its Now or Never (O sole Mio) ♫ PM May 19th from

· Drolgerg Don't see the point of going to the gym. Why? To make you live longer? Seems to me any longer you might live is time you spend in the gym!

· ememess Barmaids who say how little they drink are like slim chefs. I want a barmaid who's hungover. And a fat chef. Commited people.

· EmmaJaneR My oil pastels have arrived! Wasn't expecting them for another 10 days! SQUEEEEE!! (sorry - won't do the squee thing again, it's a one-off)

· EMMAREES Time for lunch break. Only 16 Renaissance essays before I can stop for day. Concentration pretty good and shortly to be helped by chocolate.

· ewarthale Sorry. These are just the ramblings of someone waiting for the builders to arrive. Oh, how I want my home back...about 4 hours ago from web

· fighthunger News: Fortified rice could help win the fight against malnutrition PM

· GeekParenting "Always remove your used tampon before inserting a new one." #unecessaryinstructions #noshitsherlock #wellokaythen9:14 PM

· GeneHunt Just pulled a scumbag in for questioning. He was looking more suspicious than a nun doing pressups in a cucumber field.9:11 AM

· gibbzer Fellow Glaswegians, do not be afeard. The big hot molten mass in the sky above your heads is the sun. Go forth and freckle up.

· goonerjamie I also asked for snacks for later on tonight, know what she bought. A mini packet of aero bubbles! WTF. Pack weighs as much as a mouse gonad

· Gpforhire ah the olfactory joys of a patient who has never heard or used deodorant. Excuse me whilst I vomit in the bin.

· HelenWayteMy factor 40 sun cream makes me appear albino. I probably look like some sort of goddess to white supremacists. Eurgh.

· HelpSaveBees As the Bluebells die down, this flower with nettle like leaves, is a member of the Mint family & Soliatry Bees love it:

· huwspanner The US fossil-fuel industry blew $44m in January-March lobbying against Obama's Bill to combat climate change. Bastards.

· indiaknight Who said that thing about martinis being like bosoms, one not enough, three too many? It's really true.

· IndywoodFILMS I am attempting to keep my high profile Zombie Horror movie independent, by selling 5000 DVD pre-orders - a fresh & new fundraising method

· Itxi_Itx Accidentally rode my bike through a patch of semi-fresh asphalt. That's my mark on the world, right there...

· Jetlagjen Freezing my nick nacks off over here! Bucketed on and off all day, still foreign enough to enjoy sound of rain bouncing off my umbrella.

· juliansimpson So, turns out this whole Iran thing is complicated. I was really hoping to be able to crash down on one side and start hurling abuse. Ho hum

· justamoochin Morning ................................ is it wrong to *dream* of John Barrowman?? xx

· jockso Alan Sugar's come out in support of Brown, all he needs now is the Backing of Ant & Dec and he'll be OK.

· karacornflake He played with my soul like the wind plays with a leaf,.. Swirling emotion Devine devotion,... Yet ending in grief

· kdaustin Basking sharks are so weird and so cool. New findings, stunning photo : RT @wired

· koshkanott Bloody mindedly wearing summery top & airy linen cardi. Boss bedecked in pretty aqua dress. We're chilly, but it beats the gloom outside!

· labeet Tweeting is sinful, but you're free to abuse little boys for decades. Catholics have odd morals! (via @guardiantech)

· laughingsquid Awkward Family Photos, embarrassing the ones you love #screwoffatworkfriday

· Lizziemouse Beautiful day today - very lucky to have a personal orchestra of birds in the garden to serenade me through the day

· lesanto This uniform is indicative of the problem at the root of education. The 'system' trying to make people conform rather than blossom as people

· lydmiz Love can build a bridge, and probably finish it faster than the builders outside my workplace can. 7 months and still no walkway.

· maggiephilbin Have had very bizarre day.. which began with Bikram yoga for radio..anyone do this?

· MariBiscuitsNo, I do not want to rate your pussy. Unless it's a cute lolcat style kitten and not some badly shaved webgina.

· matripleyGoing to the Cathedral to write. Its a bit like a library but with better windows and a smaller selection of books.

· maybeitwasutah Good morning, kidlingtons. My head feels like it's full of spoons.

· mimimyne Off to the Markets Office to get my East London market trader's license. Pound a pound! Get your organic goods here! lovely jubbly! etc

· Mirroranne One Flew over the Meringue Nest #filmfoodeating

· MrsLard The spider that's been squatting in my bath for 3 days has gone. Except for one leg. Think Bill must have eaten his body and other 7 legs.

· mrstrefusis Some utter idiot is trying to skip along berwick st. Using a skipping rope. is wearing large earphones and dark glasses so impervious

· nicky_t @GHmltn Winning team taking it all so seriously. Won on tiebreaker.Winning team captain has spreadsheet of winning scores. OMG.

· nik_kee_dee So much fucking effort being a girl. Shave this, pluck that, moisturise this, condition the other, boost this, curl that. Yawn.

· noxhanti RT @ joshuahammond: Possibly the coolest Twitter site yet: Pretty much puts it all into perspective, hunh?

· nytimeskristof The disadvantage of Twittering at night in an African village with a satellite phone? Bugs the size of birds dive-bomb you.

· OMGLOLOMG No 1 beginning to panic about Physics As tomorrow . Asking me about electrons ????Help....

· Raycast I made the mistake of allowing windows to update and now it's bugging me to restart! I'm busy, I don't want to RESTART!! grrr...

· RedMummy Oh, THAT went well. Just going to make myself coffee laced with cyanide.

· rhodri Local barbers is staffed by 2 swarthy Iranian men and a gorgeous blonde girl. You can see the hope on the faces of the waiting customers.

· Richard_001 is wondering what fine pickings there will be to recycle after the Chelsea flower show is dismantled.

· robinbrittain BBC East Midlands News lady presenting weather, aptly named 'Sara Blizzard' warms of a chance of the odd tornado tonight. Keep your hat on.

· rockmotherworried that my spider bitten left boob will explode on plane tomorrow - still hurts - sorry too much info I know but just a thought

· SamGemmill I have been chanting "This will be a productive week" over and over, since seven am.

· sarahjpin Mr Fing is giving me big cat love. This normally means there is a pile of sick or a dead animal somewhere

· Scott_Kesterson Sitting in what I think is the best dining hall in east Afghanistan eating a bowl of Shrimp Creole soup. The lead cook is a Vietnam vet.

· sinkingducks bi-curious george #pornkidstv

· stevyncolgan Today I WILL finish that book proposal I started yesterday. I will. N more procrastination. Oh, I think I need to go buy dog food ....

· suellewellyn There's no getting away from it, can barely get around it, time to get on to it. I hate paperwork.

· taniakindersley Sun (literal and metaphorical); great, fat, vulgar, unapologetic shafts of sun. And the men on the wireless talked of nothing but rain.

· thehermitage After putting too much wood on the fire then flinging open doors, we played clarinet and flute together and are now eating chocolate buttons.

· themanwhofell I am feeling lazy, wearing my girlfriend's £10 mock-Ugg boots. I look like a cuddly, fat tramp.

· theNSPCC Reading about 82 networks of organised child abuse that @theNSPCC helped CEOP shut down in their 08/09 review @

· Valya 1am in Palma. Kids zonked about 15 min. ago after 2 flight journey. Brief layover in Madrid & 11pm arrival. Time for bed. Good night!

· victoriark Excitement of the ironing now. Followed by meeting of doom re the gardens where everyone will have view and no one will make a decision.

· Veronika_Lives Have a class of kids shouting shoot the Nazi's. I'm epic.

· W1mum Forgot Erbie using wallet for teething this morning until checkout, good start to economy drive paying in cash from coin purse.

· waitingword Sitting at a bar by myself, drinking a Dark n Stormy. If this doesn't mean I'm on the market, I don't know what does.

· whoopsie So, my employee review is in. My boss has classed my work as "f*cking awersome" and recommended I bitch slap a client. Go me!

· wired I feel like a radio DJ: Hi everyone! It's me, @joemfbrown back for another week of spinning Tweets on behalf of the mother ship.

· adebradleyYay, My Machiavelli, Nietszche and Darwin books have arrived. A geeky bank holiday weekend for me.

· allpointsnorth At Northampton services, I can smell the pavements lined with gold. That there London here I come.

· twentythree A skinhead type guy had a BNP banner draped over a M25 bridge yesterday, giving drivers Sieg Heil salutes, great way to enamour voters

· wisecur #health&safety Fat people are a breeding ground for germs so avoid any physical contact.Simply pat their bums with wooden spoon as greeting.